Clichéd
by neko-hime21
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha was never fond of Clichés. But with the things happening in his life, cliché seemed a whole lot better. SasuSaku. One-shot. Companion piece to "Cliché".


A/N: OMG... thanks for your reviews on Cliché... It really made my day... :D I decided to make a companion piece for Cliché with Sasuke's POV. I found out I made some typos on Cliché, it was devastating... D: Anyways... enjoy the story!

PS: if you haven't read Cliché... well, you should :p

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Kishimoto does.

* * *

Hn. Clichés.

Never fond of them.

* * *

It was a bloodied battle. I finally killed Orochimaru – that old fucking pedophile – and Itachi (which I regretted later after knowing he was just protecting the village. Honestly, Danzo. You should do your own shit rather than ordering people around to fucking kill their whole clan). Naruto _popped_ out of nowhere, and then we began to fight. After (shamefully) losing, I agreed to go back to Konoha, since I fulfilled my revenge and had nothing better to do.

* * *

So, I went back to Konoha – embarrassingly supported by the Dobe, since I was badly wounded and limping so it was slowing us down. We were near the front gates when I saw _her _– my ex-teammate in my genin days; Sakura Haruno.

The first thought that passed my mind was, 'THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER?!'

She was not the 12 year-old fangirl I used to know. Her face was no longer round – now having the mature look, she was slightly taller than I recalled (though she was still a head shorter than I was), she got a _lot _curvier and she grew a pair of nice, round– hn, yeah, (keep your cool, Uchiha). I also discovered she was the Godaime Hokage's apprentice when she was healing us (It was nice, her chakra was soothing, and it was a whole lot better than having to bite Karin to get healed).

As she was healing us, I was thinking of some ways to apologize to her – I mean, I _did_ leave her on a bench in the middle of the night, _and_ try to kill her, _twice_ – so I think it was okay to swallow my pride for the second time that day (the first was having Naruto support me all the way to the village, hn).

Should it go like, 'hn, Sakura, I'm sorry for leaving you on a bench and almost killing you twice.' Hn, no. Too long. I think I'll just go with, 'hn, sorry,' yeah, that seems good.

So, after she finished healing us, I opened my mouth to apologize to her, but then she FUCKING BROKE MY JAW (and probably – no, definitely – the rest of my bones in my body) BY SENDING ME CRASHING THROUGH SEVENTY FUCKING TREES!

What. The. Fuck.

I knew she had inhuman strength and all, but knocking out an _Uchiha_ through _seventy_ freaking trees in _one_ blow? I blame Tsunade.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" I demanded as I got up (ignoring the pain for I _am_ an Uchiha, and as an Uchiha, pride comes first) and dusted myself.

"FOR LEAVING ME ON A FREAKING BENCH, YOU BASTARD!" she yelled as she grabbed me and tossed me in front Naruto (hn, almost forgot that he was there) who was staring at us dumbfounded, as she stormed off into the village.

I never thought _that_ was going to be the reunion of team 7 that _everyone_ was waiting for (admit it; you were _all_ waiting for our grand reunion). I always thought that Sakura was going to jump out of joy and then hug me to death while crying tears of joy (maybe saying she still had feelings for me, and all that crap), and then Naruto would join in, and then I would die out of suffocation, or something cliché like that (well, not the dying part. Uchihas don't die – wait, I take it back. Uchihas don't die _unless_ you're killed by another Uchiha).

So, Dobe took (carried) me to the hospital (yet _another_ blow to the pride. hn) where Tsunade healed me (while chuckling and saying how proud she was of her pupil) and then brought me to the interrogation center. After the interrogating, Tsunade decided as for my punishment, I will be watched 24/7 by at least two ANBU squads for two whole months (really Tsunade? Do you know how uncomfortable it is to do your _'business'_ while knowing you're being watched? Tch, retard), and a year of banishment from B-ranked missions or higher – in other words, Tsunade wanted me to rot out of boredom (that evil little wench).

* * *

So, Konoha was pretty much the same since I left. The rest of rookie nine still looked the same since I last saw them. Hyuuga's team was also pretty much the same. Everything seemed normal. EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT WHO WAS STILL A GODDAMN _GENIN_ (besides Naruto. Thank God). The stupid fangirls still clung to me (tch, can't they get a life?). My apartment was surprisingly still livable, despite all the dust that covered every inch of it. Kakashi was still reading porn. Naruto was still an idiot. The team still did our routine. It's just one thing that changed though; Sakura.

We avoided each other as much as possible (Thank God for that, I was scared _shitless_ of what she could do to me, I could have _pissed_ myself). Apparently, she was no longer infatuated to me (hn, good to know). We managed to ignore each other for about three months, and it was driving me _crazy_. Why, do you ask? Because it could affect our teamwork. It's not like I missed her or anything (tch, you and your clichés).

After three (long) months, Dobe wanted us to have a team 7 reunion at Ichiraku's. He said it's to release the tension going on between me and Sakura, so we decided to just forget about the whole '_break all bones in my body by sending me crashing through seventy trees_' episode.

* * *

It was after a long mission to escort the Daimyo's niece to the Land of Keys to meet her fiancé or any of that crap I don't really care about. It was Sakura's turn to choose the spot for us to celebrate (Thank God, it wasn't Naruto's. I'd rather starve to death than eat anymore ramen). Being the Godaime Hokage's apprentice she is, she chose a little sake shop in the middle of the village (Tsunade, I am truly thankful you agreed to be her sensei and all, but DON'T MAKE HER A FUCKING COPY OF YOU!) We all drank and my two teammates got wasted (hn, me? Of course, not. I _am_ an Uchiha, after all. We have high tolerance of alcohol in our body). Naruto passed out first, (the Dobe can't handle the alcohol with all the ramen in his body) and so, we had to call his girlfriend (I know, a shocker, right?) that Hyuuga girl – to drag Dobe's ass back to his apartment while Sakura and I managed to drink all night. We paid our bills and went out of the shop. It was around two in the morning, I noticed. So, I offered to walk Sakura back home (NO, I did not _rape_ her, you perverts), being the gentleman I am (Fuck you bitches who say I'm emotionless. I just chose to show my emotions to _particular_ people).

"_Goobai, Saske-kuuunn…. See ya tmarawww…_" she slurred as she tried (and failed) to find her way home.

"_Sakurrraa…_ I'll walk you home… _Yerr parents'er_ gonna be worried if ya don't make it home in one piece…" I slurred as I caught up to Sakura who (finally) found her way to go home (I might have a high tolerance for alcohol, but everything has a limit. Hey, we drank all night, give me some credit. I was half sober then).

We walked (staggered) to her house as she talked (slurred) about everything you could possibly imagine. I just grunted or _'hn'_ed in response, for I was listening half-heartedly (also the fact that I couldn't comprehend half of what Sakura was talking about. That girl _sure_ could drink) while thinking of a way to… ask her out on a… date… (hn, my pride is decreasing every minute I'm here)

We stopped in front of her doorstep. I decided to ask her out the old fashion way, '_you're very beautiful, I like you, do you want to be my girlfriend_' and all that cliché crap (girls dig that, don't they?). So, I was nervous as hell (hn, don't judge me. I _am_ still a human being, after all. I still have feelings). I opened my mouth to pop the question yet she was still talking, and then she abruptly stopped and opened her mouth (probably to thank me, like she always did every time I drop her home) but I cut her off.

"Sakura, shut up and go out with me," There, I said it (rather bluntly, but did it anyway. Great job, Uchiha).

She blinked, looking drunk and confused. And then…

She passed out.

FUCK! I JUST SWALLOWED MY PRIDE AND GUTS TO ASK HER OUT, AND SHE FUCKING PASSED OUT _RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME_! WAS THIS SOME KIND OF PUNISHMENT FOR JOINING A SNAKE PEDOPHILE TO SEEK POWER FOR REVENGE?!

I propped her up on my knees and carried her bridal-style while knocking at the door. Mrs. Haruno opened it as she gasped, looking at her daughter in my arms.

"What happened?" she asked, panicked.

"Sake," I said – now already more sober. One word it took for Mrs. Haruno to nod understandably and opened the door as she took a step aside to let me in.

"Sasuke-san, arigato. For bringing Sakura home safely," she said politely – her hands outstretched, motioning me to pass Sakura to her.

"Aa. It's alright. I'll do it. Where's her room?" I said bringing Sakura closer to me (not that I was being _possessive_ or anything)

Mrs. Haruno smiled knowingly (hn, to be honest, I was a little creeped out) "two doors down the hall to the left."

I thanked her and walked to Sakura's room. I was surprised her room wasn't all pink and girly like I'd thought it would be, it was actually a nice shade of beige. I laid her down gently (hn, not that I was scared to wake her up or hurt her or anything) as I put the covers on top of her. I left feeling quiet uneasy (no, I was _not_ worried about her), I had a feeling something was going to happen the next day.

* * *

I trained – trying to keep _her_ out of my mind._ 'Will she remember what happened last night?' 'If yes, what will she say?' 'Will she reject me?'_ the thoughts kept running wild in my mind, it was driving me _insane_… (I blame you for this Sakura). Suddenly, I saw a blob of pink headed to the training grounds. I stopped training, and saw Sakura – eyes half-drooped – looking at me. I approached her and stopped a few feet away.

"Sakura," I said monotonously if not blunt, "Do you remember anything about last night?" I demanded in a firm tone.

She groaned. "Sasuke, I'm having a major hangover here, so stop being so loud _woman_."

My eyes twitched. Did she just? It was one thing to be called a bastard, but it's another thing to be called a _woman _(of all things). I'll show her, woman.

Unconsciously, I walked up to her so we were only inches away from each other. I grabbed her arms in a tight grip and leaned down to capture her soft lips (Which tasted like cherries, not that I paid attention or anything). I could still taste the sweet sake on her lips as I outlined them and boldly slipped my tongue inside her mouth. I explored her warm cavern – memorizing every detail of her delicious mouth. Our tongue wrestled; our teeth chattered. After a good five minutes, we broke apart in need of oxygen. And then I saw a blur of orange and grey behind a bush near to us. The bush cackled.

Fuck.

I froze in realization. I just got caught making out with – er, my _girlfriend_? – on the training grounds by my idiotic best friend (who I _knew_ was going to spread the whole news. That little gossip bitch), and my perverted sensei (who kept bugging me to read his dirty books for some _'ideas'_ to do with Sakura in the future).

I snapped out of my daze when I saw Sakura grabbing a stick and poking it to the bush where the two idiots were hiding. I was feeling rather proud (if not smug) of my – er, girlfriend? – when she poked right at Naruto's eye.

"AARRRGGG! MY EYEBALL IS BLEEDING! HELP!" Naruto cried as he popped out of the bush while clutching his left eye in his hand. If I was another man, I would have laughed. _Laughed_. That's how funny it was (I really enjoyed Naruto's pain). But since I am an Uchiha, I shall not laugh nor even flinch (hn, I like having a cool image of myself).

"Naruto? What are you doing here?" Sakura asked or rather, drawled. If not for my pride, I would have face-palmed. Seriously, Sakura? And you're supposed to be the smart one. No more sake for you. It was rather obvious that Naruto and Kakashi were spying.

Kakashi suddenly popped out the bush, joining Naruto – a grin under his mask and his latest copy of Icha-icha paradise in his hands. "Why, we were just here to have some good ol' training session – " he said before being interrupted by Naruto, "Yeah! Before you and teme decided to suck each other's souls out!" he yelled pointing an accusing finger at Sakura. "By the way, where is he anyway?" he asked while looking around with his single eye.

By that time, I transported myself on top of a tree around the training grounds. I didn't want to hear any of Naruto's rambling so I just did what any smart person would do. Transport myself to the tallest tree around the training grounds, sit comfortably, while watching the clouds (I honestly spent too much time with Nara). I could hear Naruto yelling something in the line of, 'ow, Sakura-chan, that hurts! You're making my eyeball worse!'

Aah, music to my ears…

* * *

Hn. So a month passed since my girlfriend and I kissed (read; made fuckin' out). Now what? I honestly didn't know what to do in a relationship. We still continued our routine, nothing out of the ordinary. She was still goddamn annoying; she still talked a lot (which I responded with my grunts and '_hn_'s). It was as if nothing had changed. Well, I noticed she was distracted somehow. Not really focused during training, sometimes unconsciously brooding. Whatever it is, she was pissed. I felt sorry for the bastard who got on her bad side.

It was six in the morning when I heard a loud banging on my front door. Who the _fuck_ was that? Waking me up at this time of hour… Unbelievable… (hn, I'm not a morning person. Wake me up and go to hell) If this was Naruto asking me out for ramen, I'm going to chidori him _straight_ to the Hokage monument (well, he did say he wanted to be Hokage, right?)

"What?" I spat as I opened the door. Instead of orange, I saw pink.

"Why aren't you asking me out?!" Sakura asked (read; demanded). Well, that was… straightforward (and I thought _I_ was the blunt one)…

"Am I supposed to?" I asked sincerely. I was new to this stuff; I didn't know how to 'court'. I thought kissing her did the job.

I was surprised when she stepped in front of me, I actually thought she might have kissed me. But nooo…. Because she kneed me. Hard. Between my legs.

So I clutched the 'little man' and collapsed to the ground.

She was still glaring daggers at me, and her breathing was shallow (if you thought the Kyuubi was scary, wait till you see Sakura release _her_ inner demon. Tch, women). I could actually piss myself right then and there, if it wasn't for the pain the 'little man' is feeling.

After Sakura calmed down, she took me to the hospital. She brought me to her office and asked me to sit down on the exam table. I was sort of hoping she would heal it herself (no, it's not because I want her to touch me, you pervert. It was because she caused it, therefor she should fix it. The existence of my whole clan depended on the 'little man') but she said she had some errands to do and told me to stay still while she call for a nurse to fix me up. Hell, no. I am not going to be molested by some fangirling nurse. I tried to call Sakura back but then the door slid open and hell broke loose.

It was one thing to be molested by a fan_girl_, but it's a whole other thing to be molested by a fan_boy_. The nurse turned out to be a guy (correction; gay), and well, he asked me to take off my pants so he can heal my '_weewee_'.

Fuck. I hate my life.

Why did medical ninjutsu has to has skin-to-skin contact again? Oh, that's right, because not all people are medical geniuses like Tsunade, or Kabuto, or probably Sakura, and I highly doubt this pedophile made the list.

So, I followed the procedure, the freaking dude was giving me looks, and it was starting to scare the _shit_ out of me. And when he finished, I hurriedly put on my pants as the door opened and Sakura came in. She thanked the son of a bitch as he went to the door. He then left the room after turning around and winking at me. _WINKING_ I TELL YOU! Why was my life full of people trying to _molest _if not _rape_ me?

So, I cleared my throat – trying to break the awkward moment – to catch Sakura's attention.

"Hn, Sakura," I started sternly, "I'm sorry for not asking you out after the kiss, I don't understand this kind of things," I cleared my throat again, "Hn, I'll pick you up tomorrow. Be ready at 6," There. I asked her out.

Sakura looked at me amusedly. "This is a blow to your pride isn't it?" I nodded. She gave me that genuine smile which always makes me feel… weird (no, I did _not_ have butterflies in my stomach). "I'll be waiting," she said as she kissed the corner of my lips and rushed out of her office – leaving me dazed.

After she got out, I smirked to myself.

Another job well done, Uchiha.

* * *

Hn, the next night, I picked Sakura up at her house. I was still upset about her potentially damaging the fate of the Uchiha clan. So I was – what Sakura called, 'Brooding' – all night. She took me to a sushi shop (I forbid her to even be in 10 foot radius from a sake shop) in the middle of Konoha. After eating, we went for a walk around the village (she told me that's what people in 'dates' do). She giggled on the way, mocking me about the other day.

"Sasuke-kun, I didn't know you were gay… I saw how that nurse was eyeing you…" Sakura giggled as we took a turn to the training grounds. I glared at her and kept walking.

"Sasuke-kuuunn…. Are you still mad at me?" she drawled. I grunted. She giggled.

"Sasuke-kuuuuuun, I said I'm sorry…" she whined as she pouted (hn, not that I think her pout is _cute_ or anything). I glared at her. "You kneed me between my legs…" I grumbled as she giggled.

"Well, it wasn't my fault to be so oblivious… What? Did you think you can just go make out with a random person and then, BOOM, you're in a relationship?" she huffed.

"Hn," I grumbled. "Yet I still asked you out that night…" I mumbled.

She turned to look at me as we kept walking. "What was that?" she asked.

"I said," I said quietly through gritted teeth as I stared at my feet (No, I was not hiding a blush. I happen to have _very_ nice feet. Hn), "I asked you out the other day after the mission, but you passed out, so I knocked on the door, your mother opened it, asked me to carry you to your room and lay you there…" There. I said it. My pride is depleting.

She blinked. "oh." I shrugged. "hn." I mumbled as we arrived at the training grounds. I abruptly stopped – making her almost bumped me.

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked confusedly, her eyes looking into mine. I knew Sakura liked those cliché stuff, so I went with them. She closed her eyes as I cupped her cheeks, and leaned down to capture her soft lips. As we were inches away, Sakura cursed as she fell down to the ground with a thud. I was utterly speechless. I didn't even see the kunai that flew from the bushes and landed on Sakura's thigh. Fuck.

CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NORMAL DAY FOR ONCE?!

I snapped out of my daze and propped Sakura on my knees to check on her wound. Oh fuck. It was bleeding (hn, _duh_). Like a lot. _WHO'S THE BASTARD WHO THREW THE KUNAI_?! I could actually feel my sharingan activating. I heard the bush rustle as I glared at a figure that I knew who was going to pop out any second (hn, I'm not a fortune teller or anything. It's the sharingan, retards).

"AARGG! STUPID RACCOON!" I heard the figure yelled as they came out of the bushes. Turns out, it was one of Dobe's copies who followed him like a dog. Who was his name again? The kid with the scarf? I think it started with a Konoha. No? yeah? Okay, let's just say his name was Dobe's bitch for my sake.

Dobe's bitch abruptly stopped as he saw Sakura in my arms and my blazing sharingan. His face paled (to my amusement. I really enjoyed people's pain. Not Sakura's though). "S-Sakura nee-chan… is that my–" he stuttered as he pointed at the weapon planted in Sakura's thigh. I felt my sharingan swirling (hn, not that I was angry because he was looking at Sakura's thigh or anything). "Yes," I hissed – interrupting the bitch. "I-I swear it w-was an accident…" Dobe's bitch put his hands up in a defensive manner. "It's alright," Sakura said as she winced in pain, "Why are you training at this hour anyway?" That was a good question. Who the hell trains in the middle of the night?! (except gai and his spandex copy, but that's not the point). Dobe's bitch looked at Sakura and then me, "Boss asked me a favor to spy on you and take pictures, but then there was a raccoon so I tried to hit it with my kunai, and it missed, _pleasedon'tkillme_…" he said rapidly as he ran away. Oh, believe me, the Dobe and his bitch is going to pay. I felt Sakura wince as she glared at me weakly (I think it's because she's losing blood, hn). "Sasuke-kun! Don't just sit here! Get me to the hospital before I die out of blood lost, baka!" she hissed. I rolled my eyes (thank God she didn't see me or I'll _definitely _be the last Uchiha) and carried her – bridal style –to the hospital.

* * *

We were eighteen then. I asked Sakura to move in with me. No, you perverts. I didn't ask her to come move in with me to 'deflower' her. I happen to do that because I felt we were responsible adults, and we were ready to take it to the next step. Very reasonable. Tch, It's not like I wanted her all to myself or anything.

"Move in with me," I said as I walked stepped inside her office at the hospital.

"What was that, Sasuke-kun?" she asked as she put her paperwork aside.

"I said, move in with me," I pressed on.

She raised her eyebrows as she put her hands on her (curvy) hips. "Sasuke-kun, you do know that normal people _ask_ and not _demand,_ right?"

I walked up to her and pulled her in my arms as I started to kiss her. "I don't need to ask. Uchihas get what we want."

"Egotistical bastard," she murmured between kisses.

I smirked, "but I'm _your_ egotistical bastard" I whispered to her. And then the kisses became hotter, and we made out.

Another point for Uchiha.

* * *

The next week, Sakura moved her things into my apartment. We shared a bed together (get those dirty thoughts out of your heads).

So, it was in the afternoon. We were relaxing on the bed, Sakura in my arms, my head rested on hers. To say it short, we started making out, and undressing (the 'little man' down there was getting excited). It was getting hot in here. Her moans, my pants, it was thrilling. Just as we were about to do… it… again, Naruto burst into the room while yelling, "TEME! WAKE UP! LET'S GO TO ICHIRAKU AND HAVE SOME RA–" he didn't get to finish his sentence for he was in shock, and utterly speechless (I would too, if I ever caught him getting it on with the Hyuuga girl). Luckily, Sakura was covered by the sheets and my body. To tell you the truth, I was feeling pretty smug about this (hn, because I can rub it on Dobe's face that I 'devirginized' a girl first), but Sakura seemed to disagree. "NARUTO GET OUT NOOOOWWWW!" she yelled. Naruto passed out. So, we got out of bed (fuck you, Naruto) and dumped him on the couch.

Hn, I swore I was going to get back at him, one day.

* * *

We've been living together for about a year, then. I was planning on proposing to Sakura. I bought a ring and hid it under my clothes inside my drawer. I planned to propose to her on the night after a mission we got.

So, that night, Sakura and I went on our usual dinner dates after missions. Usually we would just eat dinner, take a walk around the village, then proceed to making out and having mind-blowing sex. That night, we were on the bridge team 7 used to meet up. My shoelace was untied (hn, yes, I have other footwear besides ninja sandals) so I kneeled down to tie them. After I finished, Sakura's expression changed from that usually bubbly face, to the brooding demon that was bound to explode any second.

"What?" I asked cautiously. "Nothing," she spat as she stormed off.

Fuck, I'm in trouble.

As I reached home, I saw Sakura throwing my pillows and a comforter on the couch. "Sakura, why are you throwing my pillows on the couch?" I asked cautiously (honestly, I was still scared of her, I pissed myself). "Sasuke," she started coldly, (Shit, no _'-kun'_) "I think you should just spend the night on the couch," she spat as she stormed into her (_our!_) bedroom. What the fuck did I do this time? I was really losing my masculinity around Sakura. If we ever get married, I think _I'll_ be the girl in the marriage.

Oh, fuck. The ring! Shit shit shit shit shit… I guess I would have to wait until she cooled off.

The next morning, I woke up and made some onigiri for breakfast. I just finished molding them when I felt Sakura's hands wrapped around my waist as she kissed my bare back (because it was my own house, I can walk around shirtless, for all I care). "Good morning," she yawned as she pulled back. "hn," I mumbled as I brought a plate full of onigiris to the dining table. We ate silently, as I was thinking of a way to pop the question. Should I do those cliché things Sakura liked? Hn, I'll look like a sap but if it makes her happy.

I snapped out of my daze when I heard Sakura putting down her chopsticks. "Marry me," I blurted out. Done. I proposed. Now I just had to wait for her to say yes, and we'll start resurrecting the Uchiha clan. Why is she just staring at me? _Fuck_, Sakura, I'm nervous as hell and you're just sitting there staring at me. Shit, why are you crying… tears of joy?

"YOU CALL THAT A PROPOSAL?! SASUKE UCHIHA YOU ARE A LOUSY EXCUSE OF A MAN! GO TO HELL!" she yelled , "TO THINK YOU WERE ABOUT TO PROPOSE LAST NIGHT WHERE IT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND, AND YOU GOT ON ONE KNEE…" oh, so _that's_ what last night was all about, "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PULL OUT A RING AND THEN ASK ME TO MARRY YOU, AND, AND I WOULD START BAWLING MY EYES WHILE SAYING YES, AND THEN YOU WOULD HUG ME AND KISS ME WHILE SAYING YOU LOVE ME, AND, AND IT WILL BE A PERFECT CLICHÉ, AND, AND – " Damn it. This woman was_ loud_. So, I did what any man would do to shut their woman up. Kiss her. Hard. And then bring her to the bed – where we practiced resurrecting the Uchiha clan.

Fuck yeah, Uchiha.

* * *

I was hanging out in a pub with the guys of Konoha eleven, celebrating my engagement. We were drinking. A lot. Dog breath and Dobe were on the verge of passing out.

"OI, OI… NARUTO… I DARE YOU TO BE SAKURA'S MAID OF HONOR IN HER WEDDING…" Kiba half-drawled, half-yelled (Kiba, are you trying to ruin my wedding?).

Naruto stood up on the table, "FINE! I _AM_ _MADE_ OF HONOR AFTER ALL… IF YOU LOSE, YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR MY RAMEN AND CHOUJI'S BEEF FOR A MONTH!" Naruto yelled back. (Naruto, honestly, are you trying to make him broke?)

"FINE! BUT IF YOU BACK OUT, YOU'LL HAVE TO RUN AROUND THE VILLAGE – NAKED!" Kiba yelled back. (Kiba, don't drag the whole village into your stupid bet… are you trying to blind the whole village? Nobody wants to see a naked Naruto around.) "FINE!" Naruto yelled determinedly.

By the time they agreed to their stupid bet, we were kicked out of the pub and banned forever (thanks, idiots)

* * *

Hn. So, a month before the wedding, I decided to get back at Naruto for his stunt last year when Sakura first moved in with me. I told the tailor who made the bride's maid's dresses to make an orange dress for the Dobe. He said he needed Dobe's size. I didn't know Dobe's size (why should I?) so I gave him his phone number instead, (so he could just ask him). Turns out, the Hyuuga girl was the one who answered the phone call, so she willingly gave the tailor his size. Before the wedding, I told Ino my plan (which she laughed manically at) and asked her to make sure Naruto would put on the dress on my wedding (which she willingly agreed to, considering she was also getting back at Naruto for being 'the second maid of honor').

I know what you're all thinking. What the hell is wrong with you Uchiha?! Are you trying to destroy your own wedding?! Hn. No. I'm just making it less cliché and more interesting. Something was bound to mess up the wedding anyway, might as well spice it up.

If you think I'm a bastard, and Karma should just get back at me, you got your wish. On my wedding, Kakashi (who was my best man for God knows why) kept asking me questions and giving me advices regarding our _'nightly adventures'_. "How many positions did you guys do it?" "How often in a week?" "How many rounds in one night?" "Aa, Sasuke. You should try this position on your honeymoon. I can guarantee the Uchiha clan will be restored in no time!" Kakashi said as he pointed his porn on my face (why are you reading porn in a wedding anyway? We're in the fucking altar you old geezer!) It was driving me crazy, Goddamn it! I tried (yet failed) to restrain myself from strangling Kakashi.

I stopped choking Kakashi to death as I heard the music play. Shit. I think I just pissed myself. Here she comes…

When I saw her, my whole world froze (Tch, I know it's cliché to say, but just hear me out). My breath hitched. I couldn't suppress the small smile creeping on my face. She was… _stunning_. Her hair was tied into a messy bun; her dress showed her curves nicely. God, she was so… _beautiful_, I could _ravish_ her right there and then (I _am_ a man. I have _needs_).

She glided (yes, she was _that_ smooth) down the aisle with her father beside her. Mr. Haruno passed her to me as he kissed her cheek and sat on his seat. We turned to face Tsunade – who was now holding her sides on the floor, laughing. I was confused. Why the hell is the Hokage laughing like a maniac on the floor?! Then I realized she was laughing at Naruto who was clad in his orange dress, and I couldn't help but snort. Tsunade's laughter was just getting ridiculous – she was forced to be brought to the hospital due to lack of oxygen. DAMN IT! _NOW_ HOW AM I GOING TO GET MARRIED?! Well, Naruto stepped up and announced that he – the Rokudaime in running (in your dreams, dobe) – was going to be the one who wed us. I felt Sakura twitched, as I glared at Naruto, but we decided to let him continue to get this over with.

During Sakura's vow, Naruto stepped on her foot with his stiletto (why the fuck was he wearing those things anyway? I think it was Ino's doings) making her curse loudly as Mrs. Haruno laughed (loudly) at her. After Mrs. Haruno calmed down, she apologized to the snickering crowd and asked Sakura to proceed.

After our vows, Naruto cued me to kiss the bride, as tilted Sakura's chin up and attacked her soft lips. We kissed (read; made out) for ten _fucking_ minutes (hell, yeah, Uchiha) and I was getting impatient. As I was still sucking the soul out of her, I found the zipper of her dress. I faintly heard awkward coughs (hn, deal with it), and people saying 'I never knew you had it in you Uchiha' but ignored it anyways, being drowned in our own world. But then _dog breath_ decided to be a cock-blocker when he yelled, "Uchiha! Save it for the honeymoon! Don't jump on each other now, we're hungry!" So reluctantly, we pulled away, catching our breaths.

During the reception, I can't suppress my laughter when I purposely missed Sakura's mouth when feeding her – smudging cake all over her face in the process. Hey, the wedding's a disaster anyway, so why not go for it? She smacked me playfully as she excused herself to clean her face. When she stood up, she stumbled and fell down. And that's when I realized her foot that Dobe stepped on was bleeding. Oh shit. _Shit shit shit shit shit_. I was panicking.

I carried her and sat her on her seat, as I asked for Dobe to fetch a first aid kit. As I helped Sakura treat her wound (she insisted to do it herself, since she was a medic), I found out that her foot was also sprained. I could tell she was upset that she would miss our first dance. I was part of relieved, honestly, for I didn't want to dance, because I can't (Hn. Don't judge me. I'm not a prince. I'm a ninja).

The rest of the night went smoothly. Sakura bawled her eyes out, saying how her foot hurts and how ridiculous Naruto looked in a dress. I carried her and brought her to our honeymoon – a week's stay at a hot springs in the outskirts of the village – where we made lots of Uchiha babies.

* * *

Hn.

So, as I told you, I never liked clichés.

But seeing my abnormal life, I guess having _some_ clichés won't hurt.

* * *

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A/N: LOL... not sure about the ending though... :c okay, this was hard... Sasuke's a little OOC here, but he has to have _some_ change right? I mean, he _did_ finish his revenge, there's no need to be all broody anymore... :s Anyway... Read and Review... XP :3 no flames, please!


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